Guacamole (The Real Kind)

If it’s brown or has peas in it, it’s not guacamole

The Story

There’s guacamole, and there’s that green stuff they serve at chain restaurants. This is the real thing—the kind that disappears before the main course arrives.

Ingredients

• 3 ripe avocados
• 1/2 white onion, finely diced
• 1 jalapeño, minced (adjust to taste)
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
• 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 Roma tomato, diced (optional—we go back and forth on this)

Instructions

1. The Avocados

Cut avocados in half. Remove pit. Score the flesh in a crosshatch pattern while still in the skin.

Scoop into a bowl.

2. Mash (But Not Too Much)

Use a fork to mash. Leave it chunky. Smooth guacamole is a sin.

3. Mix

Add onion, jalapeño, cilantro, lime juice, and salt.

Fold gently. Taste. Adjust salt and lime.

4. Optional Tomato

Some families add it. Some don’t. We won’t judge. Add if you like it.

5. Serve Immediately

Guacamole doesn’t wait. Make it right before serving.

If you MUST make it ahead, press plastic wrap directly onto the surface (touching the guac) to prevent browning.

The Rules

• Ripe avocados only. Firm avocados make bad guac. Wait for them.
• Fresh lime juice. Never bottled. Ever.
• Chunky. This isn’t a dip. It’s a presence.
• No garlic. Controversial take, but garlic overpowers. We skip it.
• Salt generously. Avocados need salt to shine.

Made fresh, served fast, gone faster